Going to Baghdad...

This is just a short note that i will go to Baghdad later today.
I may not be able to update the blog while i am there, but i wish i could be able to do so.
Wish me luck!

Unconditional Love...

Have you ever thought one day, who in the world would love you unconditionally?

No, it is not your wife and children, for they would expect things from you. Same thing applies for your friends and siblings.

Did you get any close to the answer?

They are your parents!

And to be exact, and as the Prophet Mohammed once said, answering the question of who should one respect in this life the most: “Your mother, your mother, your mother, and your father.”

Since my mother passed away on 29 July, the world has changed in my eyes. As I look back to the 29 years when our two lives have met, I realize how she loved me unconditionally, and how she gave and gave with a happy, satisfied heart, not demanding a payback; and how she cared for me, even when I am away from home, asking about my life details, and whether if I ate well, or felt well; and advising me to do this or that, which would make things better; and wishing that I was at her side to do those things in person for me.

Right now, nobody will. Nobody in this world would give you an unconditional love like your mother ever did or does.

Gibran was one of the greatest writers that were ever born in this part of the world. He once said that you would never realize how great the love you had until you are deprived of it, and he also said that we remain as boys and girls inside if our mothers are alive; once they pass away, we become men and women in one day: the sad day we lose them.

Some people would never understand one’s grief, for many of them have not lived through the daily life and details I lived through with the dear dear person I have lost; my mother.

Mother,
O, dearest…
How I miss saying and hearing “good morning” to and from you.
How I miss your smile, as pure and as innocent as that of an angel, or a child.
How I miss kissing your cheeks and forehead, and how I wish I could have kissed your hand one last time.
How I miss your voice, how I miss your voice, how I miss your voice…
How I miss your sitting there, reading the Quran, or watching nature and wildlife programs you used to like.
How I miss your midnight snack of “Marie biscuits”, and how I miss how you used to mix them with tea to make “biscuits and tea” for me, when I was a child.
How I miss the most delicious Pyrex pot chicken from your hands every Friday.
How I miss even the way you organized the laundry.
How I miss how you described my first kicks as a fetus, my first smile, my first words and my first steps.
How sadness kills me when I see that I was not there for your last words, your last breath, and your last moments.
How sadness kills me when I haven’t been there for you, that one last time, to bid you farewell.

Mother,
How I miss your smile and big hug whenever I used to return from my ever-getting-longer travels.
How I miss the happiness in your eyes, whenever you met me as I came home.
How I miss your words of prayer to God, that He would give me happiness, good health and success.
How I miss, in every moment, your kindness.
How I miss when you used to walk me, being a 2nd grader to and from school.
How I miss your care and concern about me whenever I fell sick.
How I miss the happiness you felt when you gave to the poor.
How I miss the way you even cared for the birds and cats, not forgetting to feed them everyday.
How I miss how you enjoyed watching the colored fish on TV.
How I miss the way you used to arrange flowers. O, how you loved flowers, and how you saw the garden as your paradise. May God give you a more beautiful garden, and a larger paradise.

What am I going to tell the daffodils when they come back next spring, and see that you are not there? How would I answer their shy looks and wordless questions?

Mother,
I miss you, and I love you. I will forever miss you and love you, for you are irreplaceable.
I would have given years and years of my life for just one chance to bid you farewell properly.

Mother,
You will live in my heart, forever...